Cannuck

So this picture was taken shortly after I had returned from a Gateway retreat, where I was challenged by several GWs to take a photo a day, and after we had done a lot of barefoot walking on summer grass as we 'reignited'.

My passion and creativity in life is through my photography - I love taking my camera out to explore and capture pictures of natural beauty, and landscapes. But I rarely have taken pictures that capture the moment I am in personally, with me in them. I realised that I have often hidden behind my camera lens at tricky events like weddings, baptisms, parties etc.

In my time since losing my two babies to miscarriage, I've learnt that the moment you're in must be appreciated, and that learning to be mindful of every single moment gives me a bigger sense that yes, I am alive, that my life matters, and that just because I'm not a mother (and probably won't be now) it doesn't make my life pointless, worthless or unnecessary. It took the better part of ten years for me to reach a stage where I realised this.

I know so many GWs struggle with what makes life meaningful too. So I guess this picture captures one of those mindful moments where I felt the warm summer grass under my feet, where I realised how lucky I was to be alive, and where my GW retreat had given much food for thought, even all these years later after losing my two babies. It captures hope, it captures possibility, and it captures future steps. It also captures that beautiful sense of summer, where all feels well with the world.

I hope it gives some other women in this position the same sense of hope, possibility and future.