I always thought I would be a mother.

By the time I heard my clock ticking, an alarm was sounding and it seemed like a mad dash to find the guy and get pregnant. I found the guy, but 3 failed IVFs, 2 abandoned attempts at adoption, and one divorce later I realised my life was not going to look like I had hoped.

Seven years later after lots of therapy and support, I am finally in a place where I am happy with who I am and what my life looks like. This is not to say that there aren't triggers, but they are not as frequent and I have many tools to help me mitigate the sadness. I look back on that time and sometimes wonder how I survived so much pain, but I am so proud of the person I have become.

A beautiful, caring woman, who can still love and give even though the very core of my being has been tested. I never thought I could let myself be vulnerable enough to share my experience, but here I am.